FALL EVENINGS

Every now and then without prior notice your memory visits me.Sometimes it just passes through, with a fleeting memory of your smile or of the look of your brown eyes, only an instant of you and then you have already gone.
Other times, however, it refuses to leave, it sleeps with me and wakes up in my arms.In this fall evening, with your memory embraced to my pillow I almost can perceive your scent and pass my fingers through your hair, I could spend hours watching you sleep around me, because I miss you and you don´t know how much!
I miss the beat of your heart, your breathing, your hands, your voice.
I miss to see myself in your eyes when you look at me with that spark of complicity with a mischievous smile on your face.
I miss your four day beard and your old shoes under the bed.
I miss hearing your thoughts on the air and see how you build your dreams.
I miss feeling safe in your arms and be part of your life.
I miss so many things of you my love and I miss that you miss me.
I would wish you were here instead your memory to tell you how much I love you and that losing you hurt me so much.
To tell you that I made a mistake, there has not been neither time
nor distance nor city to forget you.
If only I had known that this goodbye was going to be forever I would never have left without telling you how much I love you.
If only I had Known what my life would be without you I would have fought for you. But "would have" doesn´t exists.
Now is too late to love you and so useless to miss you.
All left to do is distract myself away from you, to pretend that I have forgotten you, until your memory without prior notice, decides to come, again.