I WANT TO SLEEP ETERNALLY

Hurts.

Still hurts.

I can´t divest of these feelings.

Love, hate,resentment, boredom, oblivion, bitterness, sad memories,

this grudge growing day by day,

this wish of have never met you,

this regret of knowing that I have ruined my life

the "if only I would have"

the "I wish I would have"

the "if I only had gone in the other direction completely opposite to you"

living knowing that I did wrong

living remembering you

I can´t tear you out of me

I hate myself for that

and I hate you even more

I try

I have tried so hard

I have fled from one place to another

from one bed to another

from one corner of my soul to another

I´m looking forward to forgeting you

I wish to think of you no more

I curse the day when I met you

if I only

if I only

but it wasn´t like that

I met you

I loved you

I lost you

and all has lost in the forgotten

I no longer remember who I was

I want to be the same person that I was before you again

but I don´t know where she went

she has gone

she has faded

I have looked in my conscience

I have looked in my subconscience

and in every corner of my memories

but there's nothing

it´s gone

why has she gone?

I want to be me again

the one I used to be

the one everybody loved

the one I used to love

I refuse to accept that I have died

I died with you

and you don´t even notice it

what is worse,

you don´t even care

I can´t recognize myself anymore

I don´t know if I am awake

or if I am dreaming

nothing of this makes sense

but I can´t take it anymore

I want no more

I need to dispose of all this

I need to dispose of you

of my idea of you

I want to sleep

sleep

eternally

sleep

.....

....

...

..

.